Change.

 Change. Change is not my favorite. Trying new things? Yes, I do enjoy that. Having firsts? Yeah, that's normally pretty interesting, too. Adventures, those are awesome. Traditions, that's special... but change... sigh. Not the easiest thing in the world. It kinda goes along with growth... which is lovely to watch in a flower, or even new grass seeds outside in the front yard... Growth in yourself can be nice to look back at and appreciate, but the stretching and changing as you're mid-growth. Ouch.

  As you all might have gathered from my Facebook posts of the past few weeks-- and really, months and years would be accurate, life is always full of lessons and learning-- I've been learning, growing, and stretching a lot. I get a good reminder sometimes when it hurts, that I could have saved myself some trouble, sadness, or pain if I'd listened to those smarter than I from the beginning. Though I will not always get it right, I have determinedly decided to do a MUCH better job about listening to advice from Godly Christians. My parents are my number one set of example and encouragement. And oh, how the list does go on from there. I've been blessed with such a support system, I can't even tell you how far around the world it reaches. Our GOD is too good to HIS own!

 So, I've learned to tolerate (I'm not gonna say I love it, but I actually cannot say that I hate it as much as I used to) some alone time. Between jobs, with sometimes not a sound in the house, other times loud music or a phone call with a friend while running around to get little things done. I've learned to not need others as much, to need God more. And this is a very good thing. I've learned to reach out father than my usual circle to give and to also receive fellowship. I've tried new things, I have new jobs, I've been making myself read books again.  (This may sound super silly, because I've grown up loving to read and being read to and even now to read to littles... sitting down to read for me, though, is something I'm out of the habit of and don't do often because I would always pick to be with someone above reading. But, it's been a good task for me. Little Women was the first book of choice. It's an old friend. I'm almost done, having enjoyed every minute.)

I've realized why I can be such a pain to others. Why I'm not always totally believed or trusted because of my usual happiness. I've learned that I need to show some of my difficulties, also sharing all the incredible joys that truly do OVERFLOW my life. I am blessed beyond reason, I do have a very easy life-- but it's not all because it just "happened" that way. Many people have made serious choices and held to them to make sure that my life had many of the things that I should-- a safe and happy home because my parents were united in Christ and divorce was not an option. A fantastic congregation in GA because the elders made sure that they fought every bit of false teaching or steered us away from any sin that tried to come into our fold... and now, strong Christian friends who help me stay on the right path, to stay focused, and again, a wonderful congregation led by elders who are determined to help us all get to Heaven. And I have had to make and hold to some very strong decisions, Because they are what is right. The more you do it, the easier it is, but it's not easy. And, also, the more you do pick the right thing, the LESS you would even want the bad things... and the better you are at understanding your blessings.

It's hard to live without the constant joy of having your favorite two kiddos in the whole world by your side every moment of the day, but, as I pray for them, as I let them go, as I am so excited for their futures, I turn more towards my future, and to what work there is to do right now. And there is so much. The word BORED is not in my vocabulary. Because I do not allow it to be... because life is too short to not get out there and live every minute of it-- I do love this life, though it is hard, but I'm ready to go on, whenever, to what is waiting. THAT change? That one won't be hard... :)